Flu Shot Protocol

Hello Fellow Citizens or not,

For those of you who do not know me, I have a tenancy to get sick every year in February. One year, pneumonia, another bronchitis, last year it was blood clots in my lungs.

The year I had the pneumonia, I coughed so hard that I broke two ribs. Snapped those babies like twigs. Problem with that was the quack I go to said oh the pain you feel is just pleurisy. He said that for three months until I saw another quack who ordered a CT and found the broken ribs. Now if you have ever had broken ribs you know how painful it is. I had to sleep in my recliner for most of the three months prior to finding out that it was not pleurisy. So when the quack said to me, " do you need something for pain", he must have seen the anger in my face because he backed up on his little rolling stool out of arms reach.

Bronchitis for me is just about as bad as the pneumonia. That coupled with asthma keeps me coughing almost constantly during the winter. At least now they will prescribe strong stuff to keep me from coughing so much. Last year I was sick for a whole month. The cold/flu symptoms finally were subsiding but I could not breathe. If I walked from my bedroom to the living room I was so winded I had to sit down and rest until I got my breath back. During that previous month I had been to see the quack every week. I was tired of going to the Dr. but I went one more time and said I can't breathe. He took a pulse ox. reading an it was about 89%. That is not a good number.

Mr. Quacker sent me right to the hospital for another CT and said to wait for the results. I did and they put me in intensive care. Yep, blood clots in both lungs. Notice I said clots, more than one. Actually I think what they said was "many". So after a four day stay at the hospital and learning how to give myself shots in my belly of anti coagulant I got to go home. That stuff was so strong I got bruises from a strong wind. They actually told me not to use sharp stuff. The kicker was when they started me on coumadin, and the quack says, " you know this is rat poison right"? I only had to take the shots twice a day for two days at home but by then my blood was so thin you could see through it. I had to go get blood test every week sometimes twice a week for the first three to four months. Coumadin is tricky stuff. You can't just start taking 4mg. a day and that is it. You start a dose, take it for a week and get a blood test to see what your pro time is. They were shooting for 2. The first week mine was 7. They lowered the dose. Still too high. This went on for about three to four months till we got close to a good number. Oh and you have to be careful how much green food you eat. If it is green it has vitamin K. Vitamin K thickens your blood. Then I had to go on antibiotics for a week and the pro time went nuts, everything effects it. So they changed the dosage again. A month ago it was 1.9, that is close to the desired level but not good enough. When I went last Tue. it was still 1.9. So guess what? They changed the dosage again. Thank God this poison is cheap.

So what does this have to do with a flu shot you ask? High risk I answer, I am high risk. I have already received my "normal" flu shot, so today I went for the porcine version, H1N1. I get my seasonal shot from my allergist and the insurance pays for it. Today's shot was from my county's health department. So thank you, your tax dollars at work.

The vaccine was given at our local Fair Grounds in the two 4-H buildings. Lots of parking and big buildings. What could be better than getting a swine flu shot next to where they exhibit hogs. They were to start at 2:00 p.m. and they did. People started to arrive however at about 1:15 or so. I got there at 1:35 and was about 80th. in line. The young people who were behind me on the road in, got out of their car, grabbed up the kids and took off for the line. I actually heard her say, hurry so we get in front of the other people pulling in. I should have hooked her with my cane, bad knee today, and beat her with it, but she was caring a child. So wouldn't you think with over 100 folks standing in line with little kids, old people with walkers, one with oxygen and one I know is in her 90's they would let them in to sit down? No way. They did not open those doors until exactly 2:00 p.m. Now here is the part that pissed me off.

When you get in the building the people with children go to one table and the rest of us went to another. There they take your temperature to make sure it is below 100°. If it is they give you paperwork and tell you to go to the next building. When you get there they tell you to have a seat and fill out the paperwork. We could of all had it filled out if they had given us the damn stuff while we were standing in line! Or hey, maybe let us in and sit at the tables to wait. But nooooooooooooo. After filling out the paperwork you get in another line. They had orange tape on the floor that we later found out we were suppose to stand behind until called by nurse diesel. I happened to step past the line before being called and you would have thought I stole the cash box. "Get back behind the line she yells"! So I did. Just yesterday I mentioned to someone that you should never wake a sleeping bear. That would be me. So I patiently stepped back and waited. I saw the ladies waving but ignored them. Finally nurse diesel said you can come here now. So I turned and looked at her and ask in a sheepish voice, me? So I went forth got the okay to go sit in another area and wait to be called for the shot. I only waited there for less than a minute. After the shot, the nice nurse lady said to take my papers to the ladies at the other table, not nurse diesels, so I did. They look at them, and say you can leave now after you show the lady at the door your paperwork. I said no. I had been standing in lines for over an hour by now. Half of that time in a cool breeze. So when she looked up at me with a puzzled look on her face I simply said, "I have to pee". She pointed in the direction of the restroom and I waddled off. I did not have to show anyone my paperwork in there. I then went on my way to Walmart, after showing the kind lady at the door my paperwork.

It would have been easier to sneak across the boarder into Mexico or Canada in broad daylight than get a damn flu shot. Now I know how guys who got drafted felt. Just stand in line. At least I did not have to do it in my undies and shoes like they did. So that is my story for the day. I do urge everyone to get their shots. I learned a lot today so it was worth every minute of the experience. Oh and by the way, I was not the only person cranky about the set up. Folks older than me don't just think about it and write it in a blog. I was in line with every Maxine and Crankshaft in this county. They say what they are thinking on the spot, and real loud. Their deaf so they think everyone else is too.

Take care, and take it one day at a time.